matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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