we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
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