bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
