I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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