I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Someone signed my nipple.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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