Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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