If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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