I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
