I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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