I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Randomize
