I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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