My hair reeks of homosexuality.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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