It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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