Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
