I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize