I just cut my nipple shaving
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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