Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
