I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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