glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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