So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize