so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
