In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
