Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
