dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
