i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
