Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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