Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
