I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
