I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
