i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
