3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I am one with the molecules
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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