so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
