There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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