worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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