if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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