I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
