I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
