Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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