He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
