So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
