The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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