Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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