i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
