I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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