I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
