She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize