im having a threesome with these popsicles
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
