what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
