I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
