I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
