I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize