I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
