i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I cut my penus on the lid.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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