I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
