hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
