I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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