Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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