I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
