i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
