i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize