Little spoons don't ask big questions
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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