Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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