How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
