Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize