the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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