its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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