I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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