I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
someone owes me an orgasm
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize