In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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