So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
