you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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