"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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