this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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