Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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