I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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