After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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