I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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